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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975072">Ever Present</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn'>thatnerdemryn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>5 Years of Shadowhunters Codas [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e02 A Door Into the Dark, F/F, First Kiss, Fix-It, Girls in Love, Love Confessions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:28:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I want to feel normal again, Isabelle. I want my old life back,” Clary explained. Izzy brushed a few more tears from Clary’s cheek, holding her face delicately in her hands as if she might break. </p><p>“I know,” Izzy reassured but Clary didn’t seem convinced so she continued, “but don't you get it? You have a target on your back right now. The Institute is the safest place for you.” <em>It’s the only way I can keep you safe.</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>5 Years of Shadowhunters Codas [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1337425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>5 Years of Shadowhunters Coda Event</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ever Present</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was originally posted in 2019, but was <em>majorly</em> reworked and edited now that I'm rewatching the show on the Malec Server and have a much better understanding of these characters. Hope you enjoy! 💜</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Clary glanced up with tears in her eyes and Izzy wished with everything in her that she could make the sadness disappear. She cursed Alec for what he had said to her, but before she could apologize, Clary shook her head and rested her fidgeting hands in her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alec’s right, I’m not one of you,” Clary began, the words stuttering out with every shallow breath. “I’m just some girl from Brooklyn who went out to celebrate her birthday and came back with a present she never wanted.” Izzy crouched beside her and grasped onto her wrist to try and calm her. Clary inhaled sharply the minute their skin touched and Izzy thought she would pull away, but before she had the chance, Clary added, “And can’t return.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Izzy felt her heart tighten in her chest at the dark laugh that sounded venomous on Clary’s lips. She knew Clary was talking about her gift from the angels - being a shadowhunter - but she couldn’t help but think Clary might have regretted </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> she had received when she joined the shadow world, including Izzy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don't want to return that present,” Izzy pleaded, trying with everything in her to convince Clary to stay. “It’s a blessing,” Izzy urged as she squeezed Clary’s arm in her hand reassuringly, a small smile on her face to show that she meant every word. She needed Clary to believe it because she did; they were both blessed to be shadowhunters, Clary was lucky to join this world, and Izzy was honored just to know Clary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for me,” Clary retorted quickly as one tear escaped her eye. Izzy reached up and brushed it away, letting her palm stay pressed against Clary’s soft skin. “I just--” a soft sob interrupted Clary’s word and Izzy rested her head against Clary’s arm and nodded, urging her to continue. “I want to feel normal again, Isabelle. I want my old life back,” Clary explained. Izzy brushed a few more tears from Clary’s cheek, holding her face delicately in her hands as if she might break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Izzy reassured but Clary didn’t seem convinced so she continued, “but don't you get it? You have a target on your back right now. The Institute is the safest place for you.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s the only way I can keep you safe.</span>
  </em>
  <span> There was so much she wanted to say, but all she knew was that she needed to keep Clary safe. “You have a new life now,” Izzy offered and tried to ignore the pang in her heart when Clary looked away from her, pulling away from Izzy’s touch as she shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so great about this new life, Izzy?” Clary challenged, her voice filled with frustration. Their eyes met and Izzy stood abruptly, pulling Clary up with her. She held Clary’s face carefully in her hands again like it belonged there and pressed their foreheads together, ignoring the small gasp that left Clary’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have me and that’s not gonna change,” Izzy replied sternly as she gazed into Clary’s eyes. When Izzy thought Clary would attempt to pull away again, she didn’t. Instead, she nodded and smiled at her, bringing a hand up to Izzy’s waist and pulling her just a little closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Isabelle.” At the use of her first name, Izzy’s breath caught in her throat. It held a softness that was uniquely Clary and always made Izzy’s heart soar. The words that came before her name took a few additional moments to process through Izzy’s mind. She had longed to hear them from Clary since the first day they have met, but hearing them now had her hesitating. She was sure the love she had for Clary would never be the same as the love Clary had for her, and she sighed as she let her hands drop from Clary’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too, Clary,” Izzy repeated, pushing away the passion in her voice and backing away to try and control herself. She was hindered by Clary’s hands firm on her back, pulling them flush together again. She stared into Clary’s eyes gaping as something warm and </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> burst inside her. The tears that had fallen were mere streaks on Clary’s cheeks and the sadness in her eyes had been replaced with a fondness that Izzy couldn’t explain, a look of love that had Izzy’s heart suspending its beat in wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right about one thing,” Clary said softly as she shifted her gaze away from Izzy who held her breath in response and rested a gentle hand on Clary’s cheek again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Izzy pressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a present I don’t want to return and a miracle I never knew I deserved in this new life,” she whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the air rushed from Izzy’s lungs just before Clary’s lips pressed to hers. She threw her arms around Clary’s neck and the feeling of being held just as tightly and urgently back warmed something inside of her she didn’t know existed. Izzy tried to push every ounce of desire and love she felt for Clary into the kiss, hoping that she knew wouldn’t trade that moment for anything in the world. They broke apart when their smiles overtook the kiss and Izzy let out a joyous laugh as she searched Clary’s sparkling eyes, no longer filled with tears, but with peace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it me?” Izzy asked, deciding that she couldn’t be too careful with this. She needed Clary to say the words, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell her</span>
  </em>
  <span> that she wouldn’t trade the Shadow World for anything because it meant she had Izzy. Clary’s nod was enough but her confession had tears springing to Izzy’s eyes. </span>
</p><p><span>“Yes, Izzy. It will always be</span> <span>you,” Clary declared. he pulled Izzy in for another kiss and even though they both knew what loomed on the horizon, Izzy couldn’t find herself to worry about any of it. She had Clary and that was the only thing she could possibly need. </span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feel free to follow me on <a href="https://thatnerdemryn.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/thatnerdemryn/">Twitter</a> for chaotic content. </p><p>If your looking to scream about Shadowhunters and don't know where to go, come join a super fun <a href="https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8">Discord</a>!</p><p>Kudos make me smile and comments make me weep, so please leave them!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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